Post by Mike Jones on Jun 5, 2006 1:22:12 GMT -5
WNC 12/19 BeatDown Results
We are shown a highlight package of Ultimate Destruction set to Megadeth’s “Symphony of Destruction”.
We head live inside the GM Place in Vancouver, BC and our announcer is already in the ring.
DING DING DING!
Ladies and Gentleman the following contest is a tournament qualifying match.
HEY HEY MAMA SAID THE WAY YOU MOVE!
GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT GONNA MAKE YOU GROVE!
(Black Dog by Led Zeppelin plays)
Introducing first, making his WNC debut, from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 245 pounds, Cena 54!
The lights dim and strobe lights go crazy around the stage area set to ominous music. The music stops and the lights go dark. Smoke emerges from the bottom of the stage. On the screen, we see a stopwatch going backwards. 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1… The lights go out again and then massive pyro goes off and Saliva’s I Want You kicks in.
And the opponent, from Sydney, Australia, making his WNC Debut, weighing in at 245 pounds, Countdown!
Countdown appears on the stage and poses as sparks come down from behind him. Well, he certainly is cocky.
Countdown gets in the ring and goes on the turnbuckle and holds his arms out again and takes a bow to the crowd which draws some boo’s.
DING DING DING!
The referee rings the bell and this match-up between these two new comers is under way. The crowd falls deathly ill. Sorry, silent. Not sure who to cheer for here. The fans yet to make up their minds as to who they like and who they don’t, but there is a large sense of anticipation here tonight. Plenty of newcomers set to debut tonight, including an appearance from the World Heavyweight Champion Mike Becker. Also, the WNC C.E.O. Charles Kennedy will be here with a major announcement. Countdown goes for a collar and elbow tie-up and then tries to lock in an abdominal stretch. Cena 54 elbows loose and gets Countdown up. Airplane Spin from Cena 54! Cena hits an arm bar and Countdown tries to roll through but Cena holds on tight. Cena picks up Countdown looking for a Gorilla Press Slam but Countdown fights loose and hits a High Angle Vertical Backbreaker! Countdown picks up Cena and hits a Shoulder Block. Countdown hits a Shoulder Breaker and tries to lock in the Crossface but Cena rolls through and hits a dropkick to the face. Cena picks up Countdown and nails a Side Suplex! Cena 54 locks in the Rear Naked Choke and Countdown is too far to grab the ropes! Countdown manages to get to his feet and elbows Cena till he breaks the hold. Cena then hits a Drop Toe Hold and goes to lock in a Chickenwing, but it’s rolled through into a crucifix by Countdown for a 2 count. Countdown goes for an arm scissors but Cena 54 hits a chop to the throat region and Countdown breaks the hold. Cena hits a few knife-edfe chops and then hits a Big Boot! Looking now for a Boston Crab, but Countdown pushes him back into the ropes. Cena 54 attempts to slingshot clothesline Countdown but he ducks and then when Cena charges again Countdown counters and hits a Dragon Suplex! Countdown goes to lock in a Reverse Chinlock but Cena rolls out of the hold and grabs the ropes. He uses the ropes to pull himself up. Countdown charges him but walks into a hard elbow. Cena then hits Countdown with a Bionic Elbow! Shades of Dusty Rhodes there. Cena comes off the ropes and nails a Fist Drop. Cena 54 picks up Countdown looking for a Belly to Back Suplex but Countdown counters and nails a Facebuster. Countdown picks up Cena put Cena rakes the eyes. Cena then hits a Fisherman Buster! Cena up top! Looking for the Flying Elbow! He hits the mat as Countdown rolled out of the way in the knick of time. Countdown picks up Cena and nails a Backbreaker! And now a brainbuster! Countdown is building steam here! He waits until Cena is to is feet and he goes for a Backward Victory Roll-Up but Cena counters and goes for a cradle! One! Two! No! Countdown kicked out at 2 and a half! Cena gets Countdown up going for a Death Valley Driver but it’s countered and Countdown hits a nice Headscissors Takedown. Pretty agile there for the near 250 pounder. Countdown picks up Cena 54 looking for a German Suplex but Cena lands on his feet. Cena charges from behind looking for a bulldog but he gets shoved away by Countdown. Countdown waits till Cena is up and hits a perfectly executed Headlock Takedown. Cena’s feet are in the ropes so the ref forces Countdown to break the hold. Countdown argues for a minute and Cena tries to take advantage with a school boy roll up but Countdown rolls it through into the Small Package. He’s got his hand on the ropes for leveridge! One! Two! NO! The referee caught him red-handed. Countdown argues again and then heads back over to Cena and tries to pick him up! NO! Cena was playing possun! One! Two! Thr….NO! Countdown BARELY kicked out of that one! Wow what a match here to open up beatdown! Cena 54 tries to hit a DDT but Countdownb counters with a few hard elbows and now he goes for a Fallaway Slam but Cena somehow lands on his feet and hits a neckbreaker from behind! Here’s the cover! One, Two, and No! Cena tries to hook in the body scissors but Countdown out powers him into a school boy for another close 2. Countdown waits till Cena’s up and hits a nice Spinning Toe Hold followed by an attempt at locking in the Sharpshooter, but Cena knocks him into the ropes. Countdown comes at him again looking for the Sharpshooter and Cena kicks him back again. For a THIRD time Countdown tries to lock it in and yet AGAIN Cena knocks him back. Man, Countdown is relentless here! Countdown looks as if he’s gonna try it a FOURTH time but instead he manages to create a bridge and gets a quick two. Countdown trying to outsmart Cena there. Countdownn comes at Cena but this time he’s prepare and he hits an Arm Wringer! Cena then tries to lock in a Sharpshooter of his own but he’s kicked loose. Cene tries to hit a Double Arm DDT but Countdown breaks free and nails an Osaka Street Cutter from behind! Countdown picks up Cena and hits a Fallaway Slam! Now he’s got him up! FALCON ARROW! Wow! Countdown then goes for a German but Cena elbows free and goes for a German of his own. Countdown lands on his feet and hits a German! Countdown immediately goes for the RKO looking for the Time Freeze but Cena shoves him loose and hits the IMPALER DDT! THIS COULD BE IT! ONE! TWO! THRE…NO! Countdown got his foot on the ropes! Cena can’t believe it. Cena stalks Countdown and hits a Charging Headbutt followed by a Gutbuster. Cena then gets Countdown up and he’s going for the FU but Countdown lands on his feet behind him, turns him around. Rake of the Eyes! OH NO! RKO! RKO! ONE! TWO! THREE!
DING DING DING!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER, COUNTDOWN!
Countdown advances to the tournament quarter-finals!
We go backstage and we see Charles Kennedy walking down the hallway. Raw Impact walks up to him.
Raw: Mr. Kennedy, sir, is it true that you’re announcing a new champonship for tag team’s tonight. If so, I want in.
Charles: Well, whether it’s true or not is irellevent, you’re not getting in.
Raw: Why the hell not?
Charles: Why the hell not? Because I said so dammit! That’s why the hell not!
The C.E.O. walks away and Raw is flustered.
Well, it looks like the C.E.O. is on his way out here.
We head to commercials.
We come back from commercials and we see Ty Langston backstage speaking with Eric Carsons.
Eric: Ty, I think we all are upset at what happened last night at Ultimate Destruction, what are your thoughts and can you give us an update?
Ty: Well, obviously I’m extremely pissed off at Metal God na Bad Gurl. Thankfully, Jamie was not physically hurt aside from a few cuts and bruises. She is emotionally scarred for life. She’s at home resting and I won’t be bringing her around here for a while. After that sick bastard and his slut girlfriend assaulted her. As far as he’s concerned. Whatever he gets is too good for him. As far as I know he’s still hiding out from the cops. I hope when it’s all said and done he gets one more match in the WNC before they fire him, cuz I want to beat his ass so bad.
We head back to ringside and Born In the USA By Bruce Springsteen hits the speakers to a decent pop.
Ladies and Gentleman, would you please welcome, the C.E.O. of World Net Championship wrestling, and the NEW General Manager of WNC BeatDown, Charles Kennedy!
Kennedy eyes the announcer and she giggle’s as he grabs the microphone.
Charles: Ladies and Gentleman, there are several things I feel I need to adress, and I know a lot of you questions regarding certain issues, and since I am the new General Manger I feel inclined to bring you the answers. And I feel that you fans are just as important as any of those damned stock holders! Of course, I love them with all my heart, but I love you too. Anyways, so tonight, I’m gonna give you people here the opportunity to ask me a question.Who’s got a question?
(The camera pans out as half the arena lifts their hands up.)
Charles spots a pretty teenaged girl in the front row and asks: You there, cutie, what’s your name?
The announcer walks over to her and holds the microphone out for her.
Girl: Ashley.
Charles: Well, Ashley. Did you have something to ask me?
Ashley: Um, yeah. I heard a rumor that tonight you were going to intrdouce WNC Tag Team Titles tonight.
Charles: Ah yes, Ashley, you are correct, unfortunately I’ll not be doing so tonight. You see RKO Sledge Angel said some stuff in an interview about how Gangsta amd New York’s Most Wanted would be getting a title shot tonight. In fact they were initially planned to, however I decided that since she feels she can go ahead and ruinthe surprise, I’ll ruin hers. G-Unit will indeed face Paul Bunyan and the Dead Man for the Tag Team Titles. The only thing is it’s not going to be tonight. It’ll be at the WNC’s next Pay Per View Hallowed Ground! However, someone will be getting a title shot tonight, and that someone is Sheena Michaels! (Big pop!) That’s right, later tonight I am forcing RKO to defend her Woman’s Title against Sheena Michaels one on one in this very ring! (Big pop!) Who else? How about him there.
A slightly overweight man in the second row leans forward and goes to talk into the microphone.
Charles: What’s your name?
Man; Uh, my name is…
Charles: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! (Big Pop!) Sorry, I’ve always wanted to do that. Seriously what’s your name?
Man: Dennis.
Charles: Okay and Dennis what is your question for me tonight?
Dennis: Um, yeah, I heard Executioner challenged Mike Becker to a title shot at the next PPV. Is this true?
Charles: Well, yes it is true that he challenged Becker. Whether or not Becker will accept, I’ll leave that up to him.
Dennis: But what about Compton’s Most Wanted. Did you not promise him a title shot after the PPV?
Charles: HELL NO! That son of a bitch is lucky he still has a job here! Threatening me with a sledge hammer, who the hell does he think he is! Dammit! I will not stand for it! I will NOT back down because of a cowardly threat! If he wants to try and attack me he can go ahead cause I will SUE HIS ASS FOR EVERY DAMN PENNY HE HAS! Yes, you?
The announcer moves over to a nerdy looking young male.
Male: Hi my name is Mark. I’m wondering as to the status of two particular superstars. I heard Marvel suffered a fairly serious injury at the PPV. Is that true?
Charles: To be perfectly honest with you Mike….
Mark: It’s Mark.
Charles: I know what your DAMN name is! (Big pop!) Mark, to be honest no one in the WNC has seen or heard from Marvel since he left the arena that night. He did receive several stitches at a local hospital, but he’s since dissapeared after checking himself out against doctor’s orders.
Mark: And what about Bob?
Charles: Bob is a bit more serious, obviously. He is still inside a hospital waiting for X-Ray results which were done earlier this morning. We are trying to determine if there was severe spinal damage done or not. He does however have movement in most of his lower body, and his brain is functioning well, or at least as well as can be expected. That of course is a good sign. Next.
A man in his late twenties takes the microphone: Yes, Sir. I’m wondering as to whether they’re will be any reprocussions for J-Master’s actions towards announcer Eric Carsons after the match.
Charles; Again, that would be up to Eric. It would be his decision whether or not to file charges. He has yet to inform me of his plans, but I don’t believe he will do so.
Man: Also, is it true that Buzzed Bunny was arrested earlier today at the airport for drug possession?
Charles; Where the hell do you people get your info from? The Buzzed Bunny was stopped and searched at the airport, likely due to his Arab descent. However, the police found no drugs on him whatsoever. Trouble is, he claims he did have some drugs but lost them. He also somehow managed to misplace his passport, meaning he can’t return to the U.S. until he gets it renewed. Also, he misplaced his Visa card, 400 dollars in Cash and his prescription for painkillers. Any further questions? No? Good, then I’m out!
Charles Kennedy’s music hits again as he leaves the ring. Certainly a unique method of adressing the fans..
Male voice: Wait a minute. I have a question.
Kennedy stops and looks over. A man standing between the third and forth rows wearing a hoodie covering his entire face has the microphone now.
Kennedy: What’s your question?
Male: What exactly does one have to do to register for the Battle Royal?
Kennedy: (Laughs.) Sorry, son, we’re not hiring at the moment.
(The male jumps the barricade and gets into the ring with security chasing him! He then lays out the General Manager with a Judgment Day Slam! What the Hell?
The man takes off his hood. OH MY GOD! IT’S HELLRAISER! HELLRAISER IS BACK! WHAT THE HEL IS HE DOING HERE?
Hellraiser runs back through the crowd with security chasing after him as we go to commercial.
We come back from commercial and we are backstage as two referee’s help our C.E.O. limp towards the locker room.
Eric Carsons walks up: Mr. Kennedy. What are your thoughts on Hellraiser returning?
Charles; My thoughts are simply GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!
Carsons backs off timidly and shrugs as we head to a promo advertising the encore presentation of Ultimate Destruction.
We come back to ringside and our announcers talk about Ultimate Destruction. Folks if you missed it you’re gonna want to order the encore presentation. So many great moments. An awesome performance by Nickelback! A hellacious match between Executioner and Bob that started in a gymnasium storage room and worked through a kitchen, a restaurant, a hunter’s convention and ended up with Executioner throwing Bob out of a second floor window! Not to mention that phenomenal match between X-Pac 360 and Matt Ackerman. Plus the amazing risks that were taken by Raw Impact and the West Coast Wonder in that awesome TLC match. Not to mention the bloody elimination match. But of course the one everyone is talking about is that triple threat Hell In A Cell match! Folks, the winner Mike Becker will be here later tonight.
We head backstage and we see West Coast Wonder with Eric Carsons.
Eric: West Coast, you retained the WNC Pure Title against Raw Impact last night and tonight you face X-Pac 360 with the title on the line, what are your thoughts?
WCW: My thoughts are simply….
Suddenly Wrestling God nails WCW from behind and beats the hell out of him! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?
WG yanks the microphone out of Carson’s hand.
WG: You filthy little mexican, that’s what happens when you steal my title! I just signed the contract with Charles Kennedy and at Hallowed Ground I’m going to take back what’s rightfully mine because I am what I say I am and I am a Wrestling God!
We head back to ringside and our announcers seem absolutely disgusted. We see a clip of the ending of the WWA vs. WNC match followed by J-Master brutalizing his former best friend Jesse. We then see Jesse on his way to ringside. He will face Big Smoke Ernie Larois next.
We come back from commercials and Big Smoke Ernie Larois is standing by with Eric Carsons.
Eric: Mr. Larois, what are your thoughts on being in a quarter-final match against a man who was brutalized last night. On a physical statement, he’s obviously not 100 % but he’s got to be emotional.
Ernie: Well, let me tell ya there white boy. Ya’see this jackass gonna get beat just like all the other cracker’s I beat up. Word. W-HATTT? Yeah that’s right, I’m a kick this whitey’s ass, dawg. And then I’m gonna go and smoke me a big blunt.
Eric looks bewildered and suddenly Ernie comes back.
Ernie: Oh and I forgot one thing. Tonight’s Big Smoke victory is brought to you by Colt 45 D. Not only will you not have a cold, you won’t give a sh-t! Colt 45 D. Not just for black people, biatttttch!
We are shown a highlight package of Ultimate Destruction set to Megadeth’s “Symphony of Destruction”.
We head live inside the GM Place in Vancouver, BC and our announcer is already in the ring.
DING DING DING!
Ladies and Gentleman the following contest is a tournament qualifying match.
HEY HEY MAMA SAID THE WAY YOU MOVE!
GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT GONNA MAKE YOU GROVE!
(Black Dog by Led Zeppelin plays)
Introducing first, making his WNC debut, from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 245 pounds, Cena 54!
The lights dim and strobe lights go crazy around the stage area set to ominous music. The music stops and the lights go dark. Smoke emerges from the bottom of the stage. On the screen, we see a stopwatch going backwards. 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1… The lights go out again and then massive pyro goes off and Saliva’s I Want You kicks in.
And the opponent, from Sydney, Australia, making his WNC Debut, weighing in at 245 pounds, Countdown!
Countdown appears on the stage and poses as sparks come down from behind him. Well, he certainly is cocky.
Countdown gets in the ring and goes on the turnbuckle and holds his arms out again and takes a bow to the crowd which draws some boo’s.
DING DING DING!
The referee rings the bell and this match-up between these two new comers is under way. The crowd falls deathly ill. Sorry, silent. Not sure who to cheer for here. The fans yet to make up their minds as to who they like and who they don’t, but there is a large sense of anticipation here tonight. Plenty of newcomers set to debut tonight, including an appearance from the World Heavyweight Champion Mike Becker. Also, the WNC C.E.O. Charles Kennedy will be here with a major announcement. Countdown goes for a collar and elbow tie-up and then tries to lock in an abdominal stretch. Cena 54 elbows loose and gets Countdown up. Airplane Spin from Cena 54! Cena hits an arm bar and Countdown tries to roll through but Cena holds on tight. Cena picks up Countdown looking for a Gorilla Press Slam but Countdown fights loose and hits a High Angle Vertical Backbreaker! Countdown picks up Cena and hits a Shoulder Block. Countdown hits a Shoulder Breaker and tries to lock in the Crossface but Cena rolls through and hits a dropkick to the face. Cena picks up Countdown and nails a Side Suplex! Cena 54 locks in the Rear Naked Choke and Countdown is too far to grab the ropes! Countdown manages to get to his feet and elbows Cena till he breaks the hold. Cena then hits a Drop Toe Hold and goes to lock in a Chickenwing, but it’s rolled through into a crucifix by Countdown for a 2 count. Countdown goes for an arm scissors but Cena 54 hits a chop to the throat region and Countdown breaks the hold. Cena hits a few knife-edfe chops and then hits a Big Boot! Looking now for a Boston Crab, but Countdown pushes him back into the ropes. Cena 54 attempts to slingshot clothesline Countdown but he ducks and then when Cena charges again Countdown counters and hits a Dragon Suplex! Countdown goes to lock in a Reverse Chinlock but Cena rolls out of the hold and grabs the ropes. He uses the ropes to pull himself up. Countdown charges him but walks into a hard elbow. Cena then hits Countdown with a Bionic Elbow! Shades of Dusty Rhodes there. Cena comes off the ropes and nails a Fist Drop. Cena 54 picks up Countdown looking for a Belly to Back Suplex but Countdown counters and nails a Facebuster. Countdown picks up Cena put Cena rakes the eyes. Cena then hits a Fisherman Buster! Cena up top! Looking for the Flying Elbow! He hits the mat as Countdown rolled out of the way in the knick of time. Countdown picks up Cena and nails a Backbreaker! And now a brainbuster! Countdown is building steam here! He waits until Cena is to is feet and he goes for a Backward Victory Roll-Up but Cena counters and goes for a cradle! One! Two! No! Countdown kicked out at 2 and a half! Cena gets Countdown up going for a Death Valley Driver but it’s countered and Countdown hits a nice Headscissors Takedown. Pretty agile there for the near 250 pounder. Countdown picks up Cena 54 looking for a German Suplex but Cena lands on his feet. Cena charges from behind looking for a bulldog but he gets shoved away by Countdown. Countdown waits till Cena is up and hits a perfectly executed Headlock Takedown. Cena’s feet are in the ropes so the ref forces Countdown to break the hold. Countdown argues for a minute and Cena tries to take advantage with a school boy roll up but Countdown rolls it through into the Small Package. He’s got his hand on the ropes for leveridge! One! Two! NO! The referee caught him red-handed. Countdown argues again and then heads back over to Cena and tries to pick him up! NO! Cena was playing possun! One! Two! Thr….NO! Countdown BARELY kicked out of that one! Wow what a match here to open up beatdown! Cena 54 tries to hit a DDT but Countdownb counters with a few hard elbows and now he goes for a Fallaway Slam but Cena somehow lands on his feet and hits a neckbreaker from behind! Here’s the cover! One, Two, and No! Cena tries to hook in the body scissors but Countdown out powers him into a school boy for another close 2. Countdown waits till Cena’s up and hits a nice Spinning Toe Hold followed by an attempt at locking in the Sharpshooter, but Cena knocks him into the ropes. Countdown comes at him again looking for the Sharpshooter and Cena kicks him back again. For a THIRD time Countdown tries to lock it in and yet AGAIN Cena knocks him back. Man, Countdown is relentless here! Countdown looks as if he’s gonna try it a FOURTH time but instead he manages to create a bridge and gets a quick two. Countdown trying to outsmart Cena there. Countdownn comes at Cena but this time he’s prepare and he hits an Arm Wringer! Cena then tries to lock in a Sharpshooter of his own but he’s kicked loose. Cene tries to hit a Double Arm DDT but Countdown breaks free and nails an Osaka Street Cutter from behind! Countdown picks up Cena and hits a Fallaway Slam! Now he’s got him up! FALCON ARROW! Wow! Countdown then goes for a German but Cena elbows free and goes for a German of his own. Countdown lands on his feet and hits a German! Countdown immediately goes for the RKO looking for the Time Freeze but Cena shoves him loose and hits the IMPALER DDT! THIS COULD BE IT! ONE! TWO! THRE…NO! Countdown got his foot on the ropes! Cena can’t believe it. Cena stalks Countdown and hits a Charging Headbutt followed by a Gutbuster. Cena then gets Countdown up and he’s going for the FU but Countdown lands on his feet behind him, turns him around. Rake of the Eyes! OH NO! RKO! RKO! ONE! TWO! THREE!
DING DING DING!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER, COUNTDOWN!
Countdown advances to the tournament quarter-finals!
We go backstage and we see Charles Kennedy walking down the hallway. Raw Impact walks up to him.
Raw: Mr. Kennedy, sir, is it true that you’re announcing a new champonship for tag team’s tonight. If so, I want in.
Charles: Well, whether it’s true or not is irellevent, you’re not getting in.
Raw: Why the hell not?
Charles: Why the hell not? Because I said so dammit! That’s why the hell not!
The C.E.O. walks away and Raw is flustered.
Well, it looks like the C.E.O. is on his way out here.
We head to commercials.
We come back from commercials and we see Ty Langston backstage speaking with Eric Carsons.
Eric: Ty, I think we all are upset at what happened last night at Ultimate Destruction, what are your thoughts and can you give us an update?
Ty: Well, obviously I’m extremely pissed off at Metal God na Bad Gurl. Thankfully, Jamie was not physically hurt aside from a few cuts and bruises. She is emotionally scarred for life. She’s at home resting and I won’t be bringing her around here for a while. After that sick bastard and his slut girlfriend assaulted her. As far as he’s concerned. Whatever he gets is too good for him. As far as I know he’s still hiding out from the cops. I hope when it’s all said and done he gets one more match in the WNC before they fire him, cuz I want to beat his ass so bad.
We head back to ringside and Born In the USA By Bruce Springsteen hits the speakers to a decent pop.
Ladies and Gentleman, would you please welcome, the C.E.O. of World Net Championship wrestling, and the NEW General Manager of WNC BeatDown, Charles Kennedy!
Kennedy eyes the announcer and she giggle’s as he grabs the microphone.
Charles: Ladies and Gentleman, there are several things I feel I need to adress, and I know a lot of you questions regarding certain issues, and since I am the new General Manger I feel inclined to bring you the answers. And I feel that you fans are just as important as any of those damned stock holders! Of course, I love them with all my heart, but I love you too. Anyways, so tonight, I’m gonna give you people here the opportunity to ask me a question.Who’s got a question?
(The camera pans out as half the arena lifts their hands up.)
Charles spots a pretty teenaged girl in the front row and asks: You there, cutie, what’s your name?
The announcer walks over to her and holds the microphone out for her.
Girl: Ashley.
Charles: Well, Ashley. Did you have something to ask me?
Ashley: Um, yeah. I heard a rumor that tonight you were going to intrdouce WNC Tag Team Titles tonight.
Charles: Ah yes, Ashley, you are correct, unfortunately I’ll not be doing so tonight. You see RKO Sledge Angel said some stuff in an interview about how Gangsta amd New York’s Most Wanted would be getting a title shot tonight. In fact they were initially planned to, however I decided that since she feels she can go ahead and ruinthe surprise, I’ll ruin hers. G-Unit will indeed face Paul Bunyan and the Dead Man for the Tag Team Titles. The only thing is it’s not going to be tonight. It’ll be at the WNC’s next Pay Per View Hallowed Ground! However, someone will be getting a title shot tonight, and that someone is Sheena Michaels! (Big pop!) That’s right, later tonight I am forcing RKO to defend her Woman’s Title against Sheena Michaels one on one in this very ring! (Big pop!) Who else? How about him there.
A slightly overweight man in the second row leans forward and goes to talk into the microphone.
Charles: What’s your name?
Man; Uh, my name is…
Charles: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! (Big Pop!) Sorry, I’ve always wanted to do that. Seriously what’s your name?
Man: Dennis.
Charles: Okay and Dennis what is your question for me tonight?
Dennis: Um, yeah, I heard Executioner challenged Mike Becker to a title shot at the next PPV. Is this true?
Charles: Well, yes it is true that he challenged Becker. Whether or not Becker will accept, I’ll leave that up to him.
Dennis: But what about Compton’s Most Wanted. Did you not promise him a title shot after the PPV?
Charles: HELL NO! That son of a bitch is lucky he still has a job here! Threatening me with a sledge hammer, who the hell does he think he is! Dammit! I will not stand for it! I will NOT back down because of a cowardly threat! If he wants to try and attack me he can go ahead cause I will SUE HIS ASS FOR EVERY DAMN PENNY HE HAS! Yes, you?
The announcer moves over to a nerdy looking young male.
Male: Hi my name is Mark. I’m wondering as to the status of two particular superstars. I heard Marvel suffered a fairly serious injury at the PPV. Is that true?
Charles: To be perfectly honest with you Mike….
Mark: It’s Mark.
Charles: I know what your DAMN name is! (Big pop!) Mark, to be honest no one in the WNC has seen or heard from Marvel since he left the arena that night. He did receive several stitches at a local hospital, but he’s since dissapeared after checking himself out against doctor’s orders.
Mark: And what about Bob?
Charles: Bob is a bit more serious, obviously. He is still inside a hospital waiting for X-Ray results which were done earlier this morning. We are trying to determine if there was severe spinal damage done or not. He does however have movement in most of his lower body, and his brain is functioning well, or at least as well as can be expected. That of course is a good sign. Next.
A man in his late twenties takes the microphone: Yes, Sir. I’m wondering as to whether they’re will be any reprocussions for J-Master’s actions towards announcer Eric Carsons after the match.
Charles; Again, that would be up to Eric. It would be his decision whether or not to file charges. He has yet to inform me of his plans, but I don’t believe he will do so.
Man: Also, is it true that Buzzed Bunny was arrested earlier today at the airport for drug possession?
Charles; Where the hell do you people get your info from? The Buzzed Bunny was stopped and searched at the airport, likely due to his Arab descent. However, the police found no drugs on him whatsoever. Trouble is, he claims he did have some drugs but lost them. He also somehow managed to misplace his passport, meaning he can’t return to the U.S. until he gets it renewed. Also, he misplaced his Visa card, 400 dollars in Cash and his prescription for painkillers. Any further questions? No? Good, then I’m out!
Charles Kennedy’s music hits again as he leaves the ring. Certainly a unique method of adressing the fans..
Male voice: Wait a minute. I have a question.
Kennedy stops and looks over. A man standing between the third and forth rows wearing a hoodie covering his entire face has the microphone now.
Kennedy: What’s your question?
Male: What exactly does one have to do to register for the Battle Royal?
Kennedy: (Laughs.) Sorry, son, we’re not hiring at the moment.
(The male jumps the barricade and gets into the ring with security chasing him! He then lays out the General Manager with a Judgment Day Slam! What the Hell?
The man takes off his hood. OH MY GOD! IT’S HELLRAISER! HELLRAISER IS BACK! WHAT THE HEL IS HE DOING HERE?
Hellraiser runs back through the crowd with security chasing after him as we go to commercial.
We come back from commercial and we are backstage as two referee’s help our C.E.O. limp towards the locker room.
Eric Carsons walks up: Mr. Kennedy. What are your thoughts on Hellraiser returning?
Charles; My thoughts are simply GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!
Carsons backs off timidly and shrugs as we head to a promo advertising the encore presentation of Ultimate Destruction.
We come back to ringside and our announcers talk about Ultimate Destruction. Folks if you missed it you’re gonna want to order the encore presentation. So many great moments. An awesome performance by Nickelback! A hellacious match between Executioner and Bob that started in a gymnasium storage room and worked through a kitchen, a restaurant, a hunter’s convention and ended up with Executioner throwing Bob out of a second floor window! Not to mention that phenomenal match between X-Pac 360 and Matt Ackerman. Plus the amazing risks that were taken by Raw Impact and the West Coast Wonder in that awesome TLC match. Not to mention the bloody elimination match. But of course the one everyone is talking about is that triple threat Hell In A Cell match! Folks, the winner Mike Becker will be here later tonight.
We head backstage and we see West Coast Wonder with Eric Carsons.
Eric: West Coast, you retained the WNC Pure Title against Raw Impact last night and tonight you face X-Pac 360 with the title on the line, what are your thoughts?
WCW: My thoughts are simply….
Suddenly Wrestling God nails WCW from behind and beats the hell out of him! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?
WG yanks the microphone out of Carson’s hand.
WG: You filthy little mexican, that’s what happens when you steal my title! I just signed the contract with Charles Kennedy and at Hallowed Ground I’m going to take back what’s rightfully mine because I am what I say I am and I am a Wrestling God!
We head back to ringside and our announcers seem absolutely disgusted. We see a clip of the ending of the WWA vs. WNC match followed by J-Master brutalizing his former best friend Jesse. We then see Jesse on his way to ringside. He will face Big Smoke Ernie Larois next.
We come back from commercials and Big Smoke Ernie Larois is standing by with Eric Carsons.
Eric: Mr. Larois, what are your thoughts on being in a quarter-final match against a man who was brutalized last night. On a physical statement, he’s obviously not 100 % but he’s got to be emotional.
Ernie: Well, let me tell ya there white boy. Ya’see this jackass gonna get beat just like all the other cracker’s I beat up. Word. W-HATTT? Yeah that’s right, I’m a kick this whitey’s ass, dawg. And then I’m gonna go and smoke me a big blunt.
Eric looks bewildered and suddenly Ernie comes back.
Ernie: Oh and I forgot one thing. Tonight’s Big Smoke victory is brought to you by Colt 45 D. Not only will you not have a cold, you won’t give a sh-t! Colt 45 D. Not just for black people, biatttttch!