Post by Mike Jones on Jun 4, 2006 4:20:16 GMT -5
3/13 WNC Beat Down Results
The WNC logo appears and fades as we head to the ring where a single spotlight shines on Jillian Marcia.
Jillian Marcia: Ladies and Gentleman, would you please welcome Island recording artists, SYSTEM OF A DOWN!
(System of a Down perform the WNC BeatDown theme Revenga live!)
After the band finishes, pyro goes off and our announce team welcome us to Yankee Stadium in New York City! Just Six Days away from Wrestling Spectacle! Tonight, a HUGE 8 Man Tag match as Jesse, Mr. Reality, WCW and NNN take on J-Master, Marvel, Wrestling God and Mike Becker! Plus Raw Impact and Kid Omen square off to determine the sixth man in the Elimination Chamber match this Sunday!
(We head backstage in the locker room and see Marvel walking up to the match card. He reads it and spits out his water before throwing the bottle at Eric Carsons who is nearby.)
Marvel: J-MASTER???
(Marvel flips over a table filled with gatorade and coffee.)
Marvel: WRESTLING GOD?
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE? I CAN’T TEAM WITH THESE IDIOTS!!!
Marvel punches a locker and kicks a chair across the room!
Marvel: HAVE THEY LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS? I CAN’T WORK WITH THESE MORONS!!!!
Marvel shoves a locker which knocks over the other three adjoining lockers almost crushing a young local wrestler.
Marvel: AHHHHHH! TO HELL WITH IT! I’LL BEAT THE HELL OUT OF EVERY LAST DAMN ONE OF THEM IF I HAVE TO!
(Marvel calms down and rubs his chin in thought.)
Marvel: Yeah. It doesn’t matter who they put in the way of Mr. Reality or in the way of me becoming the WNC World Heavyweight Champion. I’ll just bring the house down like I always do. What the hell am I worried about? This one’s in the bag!
(Marvel leaves the room. The local wrestler grabs his stuff and runs out the exit door as we cut to a backstage area.)
Eric Carsons: Ty Langston, tonight you and Scott Man team up against Countdown and Metal God. What are your thoughts?
Ty: Metal God! Countdown! You can keep your slutty ho’s! Me and Scott Man are gonna beat you quicker than you can say Further Seems Forever. You know how the old expression goes, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge!
(Ty walks off leaving Eric Carsons flustered as we head to ringside.)
(Lights darken.)
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jillian Marcia: Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome Compton’s Most Wanted.
(Compton gets a mixed reaction although certainly more cheers than he is accustomed to.)
CMW: People have been asking me for a long time. Why did you leave the WNC? And when are you coming back? (Pauses.) The reason I left the WNC is because your best friends can become your worst enemies. Let me say this, G-Unit could have had it all. They could have been the most feared faction around, but they ain’t nothing. When I was apart of G-Unit, they never came to my aid. They never helped me become WNC World Heavyweight Champion. I protected them and they gave me nothing. I left a message on my cousin New York’s Most Wanted’s cell. I said either you’re with me or them. He didn’t reply. Therefore I attacked him backstage. You didn’t reply back to me when I asked you to join me. You showed disrespect. That’s why I showed up two weeks ago and beat you to a bloody pulp when you were alone.
(Yukmouth featuring C-Bo’s Dat N---a hits to mostly heat.)
NYMW: Man, you’re my cousin! You were like a brother to me. Why the hell did you attack your own flesh and blood?
CMW: Woah, woah woah. Brother? You WERE like a brother to me when I first came here. Ever since then, it’s always been about you, Gangsta, Cena, Gary and RKO. I ALWAYS came to your aid. Always came to your defense. Hell man, I even helped bring you up as a baby. You never gave me respect! You never came to my aid! You never did a damn thing when I got thrown off the cell!
NYMW: Never gave you respect? I’ve always respected you! I came and saw you in the hospital. Remember, I was the one holding your hand while you were screaming in pain! But you’re right about one thing and all you cared about was being the World Heavyweight Champion. You never became champion because you couldn’t beat Mike Becker!
(Crowd pops a little.)
NYMW: He threw you off the cell and sent you back to hell, where you belong!
(Another mild pop.)
CMW: Fine, then, have it your way. March 19th! Wrestling Spectacle! Me and you! NO HOLDS BARRED! IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GAME, BITCH!
(Motorhead’s The Game hits again as we head to commercial.)
(We come back from commercial and RKO, Cena 54, Gary Lang and Da Gangsta are inside of G-Unit’s locker room. Suddently NYMW bursts in.)
NYMW: RKO! We need to do something about Compton! He’s disrespecting me and you and the whole of G-Unit.
(RKO stands up.)
RKO: Hey, man. New York, Cena, Gangsta, Gary, listen up. I’m going to take care of Compton psychologically. I’m gonna go out there and come to an agreement with him about getting him a title shot. Don’t tell anybody, okay?
Cena: Yeah sure. Whatever you say, RKO.
(RKO begins to leave.)
Da Gangsta: Oh by the way, RKO. Do you need us to come to the ring with you?
Cena: Yeah, are you sure you’ll be safe out there.
(RKO turns around and grins.)
RKO: Not to worry.
(She grabs her sledgehammer out of her locker and shows the guys.)
Da Gangsta: Ohhhh. We see it RKO.
(RKO heads out the door as we move backstage.)
(Charles Kennedy is walking through the hallways shaking hands with some of the security guards. He then approaches a man at the catering table who we recognize as Serj Tankian from System of a Down. Crowd pops huge!)
Charles: Serj! How are you my friend? Pleasure to have you on the show.
(The two shake hands.)
Serj: Thank you. It’s great to perform in front of the WNC fans. It’s even better to perform for the fans in New York City!
(Serj winks at the camera.)
King: Wait a minute! Did he just use a cheap pop?
(Charles Kennedy smiles at Serj and walks elsewhere and Eric Carsons approaches him. His suit is still damp from Modern Marvel’s water bottle toss earlier.)
Eric Carsons: Um, Mr. Kennedy. Can I have a word please?
Charles: Sure, Todd. Anytime.
Eric: Um, actually it’s Eric.
Charles: Whatever. What the hell happened to you?
Eric: Uh, long story.
Charles: What, are you getting wet for me, sicko?
(Crowd laughs.)
Eric (nervously): Uh, no. I just wanted to ask you why you cancelled the Woman’s Handicap tag match tonight?
Charles: Why? Are you questioning my authority?
Eric (quickly): No sir, not at all.
Charles: Good. Anyways, I did that because I am changing the Woman’s match at Wrestling Spectacle. You see it will now be a Fatal Four Way match.
Eric: Who’s getting cut? Is it Bad Gurl because of her broken nose?
Charles: Let me finish. It’s going to be Bad Gurl….
Eric: But what about her nose?
Charles: Dammnit! Will you let me finish?
Eric: Sorry.
Charles: Anyways, it will be Bad Gurl, Ally Rogers, Jamie Hudson and a mystery opponent in a Fatal Four way.
Eric: But what about the champion RKO? And Sheena Michaels? Wasn’t she the number one contender before all thi……
Charles: SHUUUUTTTTTTT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!
(Eric backs off cowardly.)
Charles: Thank you. The winner of that Fatal Four way will be the new number one contender. However, RKO will have a match with Sheena Michaels for the Woman’s title. In the first EVER Last Woman Standing match!
(Charles stares at Eric and he flinches as we head back to ringside.)
(Mercy Drive’s Burn In My Light plays to big heat!)
TM: Well folks, the WNC Woman’s Champion is on her way to the ring. We’ll be right back.
(We come back from commercial and an ad for WNC Wrestling Spectacle airs.)
(After the segment we head to the ring. Burn in my light fades out and RKO has a microphone.)
RKO: Everybody shut up!
(Big heat!)
RKO: Compton, you know why I’m out here, man. It’s because I want to set the record straight with you. I really want you to be the WNC World Heavyweight Champion. I respect you a lot man. I mean, come on, you are the Game, right? I mean it from the bottom of ny heart. I’ve got a way to ask Charles Kennedy to get you a shot at the tile. Now that Mike Becker is seriously injured, G-Unit will screw him!
(Massive heat!)
TM: WHAT?? DID SHE RUN OVER MIKE BECKER??
RKO: So do we have a deal? Please reply.
(Lights go dark again.)
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
CMW: RKO, I heard you were going to give me an offer. But seriously, you taking out Mike Becker just for me to get a chance to compete for the WNC World Heavyweight Title. That has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen or heard come out of your mouth since that time I walked in on you getting double-teamed by Cena 54 and Insane Gary Lang at the hotel!!!!!
(Crowd pops huge and starts a large slut chant!)
CMW: Don’t say you guys weren’t doing nothing cuz I seen it all. You three naked in the bed was like watching three dogs f**king! Don’t get upset RKO, I know what I saw. Oh, what are you ginna do? Hit me with that sledge hammer? I know what you said about me with your buddies. And that sledgehammer is gonna be coming for my head! But I’m not stupid, unlike you. Like I said, G-Unit is nothing without me. So take your stupid offer and go screw yourself. Cuz I ain’t nobody’s bitch! But you are everybody’s bitch!
(The Game plays again but then Compton nails RKO from behind with the microphone.)
CMW: Cut the music. RKO, when you watch the replay, you tell New York’s Most Wanted he’s got till the end of the night. If he says no, all of you are going down. One by one.
(Compton takes off through the crowd as Gary Lang, Cena 54 and Da Gangsta run down and we head to commercial.)
(We come back from commercial and Eric Carsons has caught up to Compton backstage.)
Eric: Compton, what are your thoughts on RKO’s comments?
CMW: She’s so full of shit it’s not even funny. I don’t need her respsect. She’s the kind of person who thinks she’s all that. I MADE HER! I was the one who helped you become the WNC Woman’s Champion! And what did I get in return? NOT A DAMN THING! It was always me fighting my own fights. As for your offer? Piss off you ugly slut! (Crowd pops!) Next time I see that he-she, I’m making sure I cripple her for good!
(Compton shoves Eric as he storms off and we head back to ringside.)
Jillian Marcia: Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome back System of a Down!
System of a Down perform Old School Hollywood. Midway through the song Scott Mann comes out and gets in the ring wearing a System of A Down t-shirt which has been autographed. He then gets on the turnbuckle and tosses it to a lucky fan!
(As soon as System of a Down finish playing, My Chemical Romance’s I’m Not Okay I Promise hits to a nice pop.)
(Ty is also wearing a signed System of a Down shirt which he tosses in to the crowd.)
DING DING DING!
Jillian Marcia: Ladies and Gentleman, the following tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the team of Ty Langston and the Scott Man!
(Judas Priest’s Painkiller hits to mild heat.)
And the opponent, from …..
Metal God skips his usual entrance and charges right to the ring and Ty goes right after him!
TM: No sign of Countdown yet.
The referee gives up waiting and rings the bell.
TM: Well I guess this is gonna be a Handicap match! Metal goes for a scoop slam but Ty counters and nails a Brainbuster DDT! Wow! The Deathwish! He goes for the cover but then decides to tag in Scott Man who heads up top! SWANTON BOMB! ONE! TWO! THREE!
DING DING DING!
Here are your winners, Ty Langston and The Scott Mann!
TM: Well folks, I guess Countdown chose not to show. Anyways, as you saw last week, Kevin Sane re-injured his ankle. He went for surgery this past week and the WNC camera’s were there.
(We head to a hospital and we see Kevin in a hospital bed with his foot hanging. A middle-aged male doctor is nearby.)
Doctor: Good morning Kevin, I’m Doctor Thomas Anderson and I’ll be doing your surgery today.
(We see clips of the doctor showing an x-ray to Kevin, Kevin going in for the surgery and then coming out. After the surgery he is in the waiting room sat up in bed.)
Kevin: Yeah, the surgery went well, so hopefully I’ll be back in action in no time. The doc said just to keep it easy for a few weeks.
(We head back to ringside.)
TM: Well folks, all of us here at the WNC would like to wish Kevin Sane a quick and succesful recovery, but coming up next the Cruiserweight Title is on the line in the finals match as X-Pac 360 faces Big Smoke Ernie Larois!
(We go backstage and Raw Impact has just arrived.)
TM: And later, Raw Impact will face Kid Omen in the Finals match to determine the sixth man in the Elimination Chamber match!
(We head to commercial.)
(We come back from commercial and West Coast Wonder is on WNC’s website on is laptop. He flips nonchalantly past the headlines page with photo’s and captions including MIKE BECKER TAKEN OUT! COMPTON RETURNS! KEVIN SANE UNDERGOES SUCCESFUL SURGERY! FOZZY SINGER CHRIS JERICHO GIVES HIS WRESTLING SPECTACLE PICKS! And finally HUGE 8 MAN TAG MATCH SCHEDULED FOR TONIGHT! WCW clicks on that link and reads it over and then laughs.)
WCW: Okay, let me get this straight. I’m teaming with Jesse, Matt Ackerman and Mr. Reality against J-Master, Modern Marvel, Wrestling Dog and Mike Becker. (Pauses for emphasis.) J-MASTER? MIKE BECKER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This has GOT to be the most one-sided tag match I’ve ever seen. You talk about underogs, these are the biggest I’ve ever seen. They’re four of the most talented hacks in WNC history. Here you have a racist bastard, an eootistical freak, a white rapper wanna be who’s probably paralyzed and a guy who’s worse than all of them combined. On the other hand, you have me the Lucha-Libre legend, Mr. Reality the hall of famer, the self-proclaimed Main Event Jesse who takes crazy bumps, and arguably the biggest name in e-fed history, the man who has been from the beginning and is now the number one contender, Matt Ackerman. I’d say that looks a little one-sided to me. Our opponents are already falling apart. Becker’s hurt. Marvel’s blown a fuse. The other two don’t even care enough to say anything. Whatever happened to the will to succeed? Our team is far too legendary and succesful to lose this match. To say it’s gonna be easy would be an overstatement. Time to add another win to the storied and decorated career of the Lucha Libre legend.
(WCW clicks on his profile which brings up a pic of him wearing his brand new shirt as we head to ringside.)
TM: And folks if you log on to WNC’s website you’ll get exclusive interviews with Kid Omen and Mr. Reality Shane Warner.
(Ain’t Nuthing But A G Thang by Snoop Dogg hits to a nice pop!)
DING DING DING!
The following tournament finals match is scheduled for one fall and it is to determine the new WNC Crusierweight Champion of the World! Introducing first, from Glenview, Illinois, weighing 160 pounds, Big Smoke.
(Big Smoke salutes the crowd as we head to commercial.)
(We come back from commercial and go to a pre-taped segment.)
**It is Spring Training in Yankee Stadium. The Press, as well as the Public is not allowed in the stadium that day. However, we see two figures sitting in the stands talking. It is Mr. Natural and The Destroyer Steve Williams dressed in Boston Red Sox Uniforms and are each carrying Baseball bats**
Mr. Natural: “So, what the f*ck are we looking at then Steve?”
The Destroyer: “Are you serious? If the Yankees want to win the World Series this year they better start playing a whole lot better than this! Shit, this is pitiful!”
Mr. Natural: “No Steve, I’m talking about the WNC! What are we looking at?”
The Destroyer: “**Mockingly** Well, we have another jam-packed Beat Down Mr. Natural!”
Mr. Natural: “Oh?”
The Destroyer: **Reading From a program as he continues to mock** “Well, it says here that there are two major things on everyone’s mind. 1. Who took out Mike Becker?”
Mr. Natural: “Who?”
The Destroyer: “Some guy who nicknames himself the “Best.”
Mr. Natural: “The Best? The best of what? The Best of the Worst!?! The guy can’t even wrestle; much less carry a conversation for two minutes. What’s he even going to say to me? **Imitating Becker** “Okay Bitch. Just Bring it Bitch, Here I am Bitch, Mike The Bitch Becker Bitches! Ok Bitch, the Bounty is on, so everyone JUST F**KING BRING IT U F**KING BITCHES!!!”
**Both men laugh out loud and garner some attention from some of the players**
Mr. Natural: “So what’s the second thing on everyone’s mind? It has to be better than the first. I mean, either that, or everyone’s just plain retarded!”
The Destroyer: “Oh yeah, it reads, “What is Compton’s Most Wanted doing here?”
Mr. Natural: “You know something Steve, that’s not a bad question. Really, what is he doing here? I mean, they need to change the guys name to “Compton’s Least Wanted!” Hey, either that, or go back to Compton, where you’re wanted.”
**Both men laugh again as Derek Jeter and The Big Unit Randy Johnson walk up the stands and heads towards them**
Derek Jeter: “Hey, you two guys aren’t supposed to be here. This is closed to the public.”
Big Unit: “Yeah, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”
**Mr. Natural and The Destroyer ignore them. The Destroyer is focused on the WNC Program**
The Destroyer: “Let me ask you guys a question. What the F*CK is a Buzzed Bunny!?!”
Big Unit: “Sir, I don’t know, but leave now, or we will get security to remove you.”
The Destroyer: “You know what I think it is?”
Big Unit: **Humoring The Destroyer** “What?”
The Destroyer: “This!”
**The Destroyer kicks Randy Johnson in the groin, causing him to double over in pain. Mr. Natural stands over Jeter, who gets nervous and throws a baseball at Mr. Natural’s face, barely missing him as Mr. Natural moves away**
Mr. Natural: **With an evil smirk** “You shouldn’t have done that.”
Derek Jeter: “SHIT!”
**Derek Jeter begins to run away, but just as he does. Mr. Natural picks up his bat and throws it at Jeter’s head. The blow knocks Jeter down and causes him to roll down the stairs**
Mr. Natural: **Describing the pain Jeter must be feeling while rolling down the stairs** “OOH! OW! OUCH! OH! AGH!!!”
**Finally Jeter stops rolling**
The Destroyer: “Damn, that had to hurt!”
Mr. Natural: “Oh well, I think we should go Steve. This is getting boring. **Looks at a camera held by Hannah Harper** WNC is in for the ride of their lives. I am Mr. Natural, and I am The MESSIAH OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!!! I personify greatness, no matter where I go! I am The F**ING MAN!!! I am a God in the midst of false Idols, a King in a room full of court Jesters and peasants! I am the best thing going today and forever. I am who I say I am! And with me is The Destroyer Steve Williams! You F*CK with him….you get your ass kicked! He is the DOCTOR OF DESTRUCTION!!! This man, like me, fears NO ONE!!! We are going to WNC and HELL….IS COMING WITH US!!!!”
**Mr. Natural picks up Destroyer’s bat**
Mr. Natural: “Oh and Big Unit…”
**Hits Randy Johnson’s wrist with the bat**
Big Unit: “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Mr. Natural: “…Try to have fun this season.”
**Both men laugh and walk away as the video fades to black and to the words written…**
Mr. Natural and The Destroyer Steve Williams….MAKING THEIR WNC DEBUT THIS SUNDAY IN THE TAG TEAM TURMOIL! May God have mercy on your souls.
(We head back to ringside and Ain’t Nothing But A G Thang continues to play.)
TM: Well, I for one can’t stand those two already!
Poacher: That doesn’t matter, TM! They’re two of the best ever!
MAKE SOME NOISE!
X-PAC!
(Lil Troy’s Wanna be a Balla plays as pyro shoots out of the stage.)
TM: X-Pac not coming alone. He’s got Mr. Trashcan with him as well.
Jillian: And the opponent, from Minneapolis, Minnesota weighing 245 pounds, X-Pac 360!
DING DING DING!
X-Pac runs in the ring and Big Smoke greets him with some stiff lefts and rights. X-Pac irish whips Big Smoke and he knocked over the ref! X-Pac goes to the outside and grabs Mr. Trash Can! He stalks Big Smoke! NO! Big Smoke just spat those drugs in his face! X-Pac is temporarily blinded! NO! Big Smoke just nailed X-Pac with Mr. Trashcan! Cover! But the ref is out! Wait a minute! Cena 54 is in the ring with a chair! MY GOD! He just nailed Big Smoke!
Poacher: Payback IS a bitch!
X-Pac coming to now. The referee is up! Cover! One! Two! Three!
DING DNG DING!
Here is your winner and the NEW WNC Cruiserweight Champion, X-Pac 360!
WAIT A MINUTE! Cena 54 just nailed X-Pac from behind! Cena 54 holds the belt above his head! Cena 54 just….WAIT A MINUTE! Now there’s Bob! Bob! Bob nailing a Headscissor Takedown sending Cena 54 to the outside! X-Pac nails Bob with an Enziguri. Big Smoke on the outside just took out Cena 54! WOW! X-PAC 360 OFF THE TURNBUCKLE WITH A FLYING CROSSBODY! Oh no! Bob is….What the hell? He was going to run but now he’s reaching under the ring….OH MY GOD! IT’S A 15 FOOT LADDER! Bob sets up the ladder near the edge of the ring and climbs to near the top! All three men on the outside are up! OH MY GOD! FLYING CROSSBODY OFF THE LADDER ONTO ALL THREE MEN ON THE OUTSIDE FROM BOB! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! MY GOD!
(Born In the Usa by Charles Kennedy hits!)
Charles: X-Pac! Don’t get too comfortable with your belt, cuz this Sunday at Wrestling Spectacle it will be a Four Man Elimination Cruiserweight Open for that title!
TM: Wow! Huge news!
(X-Pac looks on with drugs in his eyes and shakes his head as we head backstage.)
The WNC logo appears and fades as we head to the ring where a single spotlight shines on Jillian Marcia.
Jillian Marcia: Ladies and Gentleman, would you please welcome Island recording artists, SYSTEM OF A DOWN!
(System of a Down perform the WNC BeatDown theme Revenga live!)
After the band finishes, pyro goes off and our announce team welcome us to Yankee Stadium in New York City! Just Six Days away from Wrestling Spectacle! Tonight, a HUGE 8 Man Tag match as Jesse, Mr. Reality, WCW and NNN take on J-Master, Marvel, Wrestling God and Mike Becker! Plus Raw Impact and Kid Omen square off to determine the sixth man in the Elimination Chamber match this Sunday!
(We head backstage in the locker room and see Marvel walking up to the match card. He reads it and spits out his water before throwing the bottle at Eric Carsons who is nearby.)
Marvel: J-MASTER???
(Marvel flips over a table filled with gatorade and coffee.)
Marvel: WRESTLING GOD?
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE? I CAN’T TEAM WITH THESE IDIOTS!!! Marvel punches a locker and kicks a chair across the room!
Marvel: HAVE THEY LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS?
I CAN’T WORK WITH THESE MORONS!!!! Marvel shoves a locker which knocks over the other three adjoining lockers almost crushing a young local wrestler.
Marvel: AHHHHHH! TO HELL WITH IT! I’LL BEAT THE HELL OUT OF EVERY LAST DAMN ONE OF THEM IF I HAVE TO!
(Marvel calms down and rubs his chin in thought.)
Marvel: Yeah. It doesn’t matter who they put in the way of Mr. Reality or in the way of me becoming the WNC World Heavyweight Champion. I’ll just bring the house down like I always do. What the hell am I worried about? This one’s in the bag!
(Marvel leaves the room. The local wrestler grabs his stuff and runs out the exit door as we cut to a backstage area.)
Eric Carsons: Ty Langston, tonight you and Scott Man team up against Countdown and Metal God. What are your thoughts?
Ty: Metal God! Countdown! You can keep your slutty ho’s! Me and Scott Man are gonna beat you quicker than you can say Further Seems Forever. You know how the old expression goes, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge!
(Ty walks off leaving Eric Carsons flustered as we head to ringside.)
(Lights darken.)
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jillian Marcia: Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome Compton’s Most Wanted.
(Compton gets a mixed reaction although certainly more cheers than he is accustomed to.)
CMW: People have been asking me for a long time. Why did you leave the WNC? And when are you coming back? (Pauses.) The reason I left the WNC is because your best friends can become your worst enemies. Let me say this, G-Unit could have had it all. They could have been the most feared faction around, but they ain’t nothing. When I was apart of G-Unit, they never came to my aid. They never helped me become WNC World Heavyweight Champion. I protected them and they gave me nothing. I left a message on my cousin New York’s Most Wanted’s cell. I said either you’re with me or them. He didn’t reply. Therefore I attacked him backstage. You didn’t reply back to me when I asked you to join me. You showed disrespect. That’s why I showed up two weeks ago and beat you to a bloody pulp when you were alone.
(Yukmouth featuring C-Bo’s Dat N---a hits to mostly heat.)
NYMW: Man, you’re my cousin! You were like a brother to me. Why the hell did you attack your own flesh and blood?
CMW: Woah, woah woah. Brother? You WERE like a brother to me when I first came here. Ever since then, it’s always been about you, Gangsta, Cena, Gary and RKO. I ALWAYS came to your aid. Always came to your defense. Hell man, I even helped bring you up as a baby. You never gave me respect! You never came to my aid! You never did a damn thing when I got thrown off the cell!
NYMW: Never gave you respect? I’ve always respected you! I came and saw you in the hospital. Remember, I was the one holding your hand while you were screaming in pain! But you’re right about one thing and all you cared about was being the World Heavyweight Champion. You never became champion because you couldn’t beat Mike Becker!
(Crowd pops a little.)
NYMW: He threw you off the cell and sent you back to hell, where you belong!
(Another mild pop.)
CMW: Fine, then, have it your way. March 19th! Wrestling Spectacle! Me and you! NO HOLDS BARRED! IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GAME, BITCH!
(Motorhead’s The Game hits again as we head to commercial.)
(We come back from commercial and RKO, Cena 54, Gary Lang and Da Gangsta are inside of G-Unit’s locker room. Suddently NYMW bursts in.)
NYMW: RKO! We need to do something about Compton! He’s disrespecting me and you and the whole of G-Unit.
(RKO stands up.)
RKO: Hey, man. New York, Cena, Gangsta, Gary, listen up. I’m going to take care of Compton psychologically. I’m gonna go out there and come to an agreement with him about getting him a title shot. Don’t tell anybody, okay?
Cena: Yeah sure. Whatever you say, RKO.
(RKO begins to leave.)
Da Gangsta: Oh by the way, RKO. Do you need us to come to the ring with you?
Cena: Yeah, are you sure you’ll be safe out there.
(RKO turns around and grins.)
RKO: Not to worry.
(She grabs her sledgehammer out of her locker and shows the guys.)
Da Gangsta: Ohhhh. We see it RKO.
(RKO heads out the door as we move backstage.)
(Charles Kennedy is walking through the hallways shaking hands with some of the security guards. He then approaches a man at the catering table who we recognize as Serj Tankian from System of a Down. Crowd pops huge!)
Charles: Serj! How are you my friend? Pleasure to have you on the show.
(The two shake hands.)
Serj: Thank you. It’s great to perform in front of the WNC fans. It’s even better to perform for the fans in New York City!
(Serj winks at the camera.)
King: Wait a minute! Did he just use a cheap pop?
(Charles Kennedy smiles at Serj and walks elsewhere and Eric Carsons approaches him. His suit is still damp from Modern Marvel’s water bottle toss earlier.)
Eric Carsons: Um, Mr. Kennedy. Can I have a word please?
Charles: Sure, Todd. Anytime.
Eric: Um, actually it’s Eric.
Charles: Whatever. What the hell happened to you?
Eric: Uh, long story.
Charles: What, are you getting wet for me, sicko?
(Crowd laughs.)
Eric (nervously): Uh, no. I just wanted to ask you why you cancelled the Woman’s Handicap tag match tonight?
Charles: Why? Are you questioning my authority?
Eric (quickly): No sir, not at all.
Charles: Good. Anyways, I did that because I am changing the Woman’s match at Wrestling Spectacle. You see it will now be a Fatal Four Way match.
Eric: Who’s getting cut? Is it Bad Gurl because of her broken nose?
Charles: Let me finish. It’s going to be Bad Gurl….
Eric: But what about her nose?
Charles: Dammnit! Will you let me finish?
Eric: Sorry.
Charles: Anyways, it will be Bad Gurl, Ally Rogers, Jamie Hudson and a mystery opponent in a Fatal Four way.
Eric: But what about the champion RKO? And Sheena Michaels? Wasn’t she the number one contender before all thi……
Charles: SHUUUUTTTTTTT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!
(Eric backs off cowardly.)
Charles: Thank you. The winner of that Fatal Four way will be the new number one contender. However, RKO will have a match with Sheena Michaels for the Woman’s title. In the first EVER Last Woman Standing match!
(Charles stares at Eric and he flinches as we head back to ringside.)
(Mercy Drive’s Burn In My Light plays to big heat!)
TM: Well folks, the WNC Woman’s Champion is on her way to the ring. We’ll be right back.
(We come back from commercial and an ad for WNC Wrestling Spectacle airs.)
(After the segment we head to the ring. Burn in my light fades out and RKO has a microphone.)
RKO: Everybody shut up!
(Big heat!)
RKO: Compton, you know why I’m out here, man. It’s because I want to set the record straight with you. I really want you to be the WNC World Heavyweight Champion. I respect you a lot man. I mean, come on, you are the Game, right? I mean it from the bottom of ny heart. I’ve got a way to ask Charles Kennedy to get you a shot at the tile. Now that Mike Becker is seriously injured, G-Unit will screw him!
(Massive heat!)
TM: WHAT?
? DID SHE RUN OVER MIKE BECKER?? RKO: So do we have a deal? Please reply.
(Lights go dark again.)
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
CMW: RKO, I heard you were going to give me an offer. But seriously, you taking out Mike Becker just for me to get a chance to compete for the WNC World Heavyweight Title. That has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen or heard come out of your mouth since that time I walked in on you getting double-teamed by Cena 54 and Insane Gary Lang at the hotel!!!!!
(Crowd pops huge and starts a large slut chant!)
CMW: Don’t say you guys weren’t doing nothing cuz I seen it all. You three naked in the bed was like watching three dogs f**king! Don’t get upset RKO, I know what I saw. Oh, what are you ginna do? Hit me with that sledge hammer? I know what you said about me with your buddies. And that sledgehammer is gonna be coming for my head! But I’m not stupid, unlike you. Like I said, G-Unit is nothing without me. So take your stupid offer and go screw yourself. Cuz I ain’t nobody’s bitch! But you are everybody’s bitch!
(The Game plays again but then Compton nails RKO from behind with the microphone.)
CMW: Cut the music. RKO, when you watch the replay, you tell New York’s Most Wanted he’s got till the end of the night. If he says no, all of you are going down. One by one.
(Compton takes off through the crowd as Gary Lang, Cena 54 and Da Gangsta run down and we head to commercial.)
(We come back from commercial and Eric Carsons has caught up to Compton backstage.)
Eric: Compton, what are your thoughts on RKO’s comments?
CMW: She’s so full of shit it’s not even funny. I don’t need her respsect. She’s the kind of person who thinks she’s all that. I MADE HER! I was the one who helped you become the WNC Woman’s Champion! And what did I get in return? NOT A DAMN THING! It was always me fighting my own fights. As for your offer? Piss off you ugly slut! (Crowd pops!) Next time I see that he-she, I’m making sure I cripple her for good!
(Compton shoves Eric as he storms off and we head back to ringside.)
Jillian Marcia: Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome back System of a Down!
System of a Down perform Old School Hollywood. Midway through the song Scott Mann comes out and gets in the ring wearing a System of A Down t-shirt which has been autographed. He then gets on the turnbuckle and tosses it to a lucky fan!
(As soon as System of a Down finish playing, My Chemical Romance’s I’m Not Okay I Promise hits to a nice pop.)
(Ty is also wearing a signed System of a Down shirt which he tosses in to the crowd.)
DING DING DING!
Jillian Marcia: Ladies and Gentleman, the following tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the team of Ty Langston and the Scott Man!
(Judas Priest’s Painkiller hits to mild heat.)
And the opponent, from …..
Metal God skips his usual entrance and charges right to the ring and Ty goes right after him!
TM: No sign of Countdown yet.
The referee gives up waiting and rings the bell.
TM: Well I guess this is gonna be a Handicap match! Metal goes for a scoop slam but Ty counters and nails a Brainbuster DDT! Wow! The Deathwish! He goes for the cover but then decides to tag in Scott Man who heads up top! SWANTON BOMB! ONE! TWO! THREE!
DING DING DING!
Here are your winners, Ty Langston and The Scott Mann!
TM: Well folks, I guess Countdown chose not to show. Anyways, as you saw last week, Kevin Sane re-injured his ankle. He went for surgery this past week and the WNC camera’s were there.
(We head to a hospital and we see Kevin in a hospital bed with his foot hanging. A middle-aged male doctor is nearby.)
Doctor: Good morning Kevin, I’m Doctor Thomas Anderson and I’ll be doing your surgery today.
(We see clips of the doctor showing an x-ray to Kevin, Kevin going in for the surgery and then coming out. After the surgery he is in the waiting room sat up in bed.)
Kevin: Yeah, the surgery went well, so hopefully I’ll be back in action in no time. The doc said just to keep it easy for a few weeks.
(We head back to ringside.)
TM: Well folks, all of us here at the WNC would like to wish Kevin Sane a quick and succesful recovery, but coming up next the Cruiserweight Title is on the line in the finals match as X-Pac 360 faces Big Smoke Ernie Larois!
(We go backstage and Raw Impact has just arrived.)
TM: And later, Raw Impact will face Kid Omen in the Finals match to determine the sixth man in the Elimination Chamber match!
(We head to commercial.)
(We come back from commercial and West Coast Wonder is on WNC’s website on is laptop. He flips nonchalantly past the headlines page with photo’s and captions including MIKE BECKER TAKEN OUT! COMPTON RETURNS! KEVIN SANE UNDERGOES SUCCESFUL SURGERY! FOZZY SINGER CHRIS JERICHO GIVES HIS WRESTLING SPECTACLE PICKS! And finally HUGE 8 MAN TAG MATCH SCHEDULED FOR TONIGHT! WCW clicks on that link and reads it over and then laughs.)
WCW: Okay, let me get this straight. I’m teaming with Jesse, Matt Ackerman and Mr. Reality against J-Master, Modern Marvel, Wrestling Dog and Mike Becker. (Pauses for emphasis.) J-MASTER? MIKE BECKER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This has GOT to be the most one-sided tag match I’ve ever seen. You talk about underogs, these are the biggest I’ve ever seen. They’re four of the most talented hacks in WNC history. Here you have a racist bastard, an eootistical freak, a white rapper wanna be who’s probably paralyzed and a guy who’s worse than all of them combined. On the other hand, you have me the Lucha-Libre legend, Mr. Reality the hall of famer, the self-proclaimed Main Event Jesse who takes crazy bumps, and arguably the biggest name in e-fed history, the man who has been from the beginning and is now the number one contender, Matt Ackerman. I’d say that looks a little one-sided to me. Our opponents are already falling apart. Becker’s hurt. Marvel’s blown a fuse. The other two don’t even care enough to say anything. Whatever happened to the will to succeed? Our team is far too legendary and succesful to lose this match. To say it’s gonna be easy would be an overstatement. Time to add another win to the storied and decorated career of the Lucha Libre legend.
(WCW clicks on his profile which brings up a pic of him wearing his brand new shirt as we head to ringside.)
TM: And folks if you log on to WNC’s website you’ll get exclusive interviews with Kid Omen and Mr. Reality Shane Warner.
(Ain’t Nuthing But A G Thang by Snoop Dogg hits to a nice pop!)
DING DING DING!
The following tournament finals match is scheduled for one fall and it is to determine the new WNC Crusierweight Champion of the World! Introducing first, from Glenview, Illinois, weighing 160 pounds, Big Smoke.
(Big Smoke salutes the crowd as we head to commercial.)
(We come back from commercial and go to a pre-taped segment.)
**It is Spring Training in Yankee Stadium. The Press, as well as the Public is not allowed in the stadium that day. However, we see two figures sitting in the stands talking. It is Mr. Natural and The Destroyer Steve Williams dressed in Boston Red Sox Uniforms and are each carrying Baseball bats**
Mr. Natural: “So, what the f*ck are we looking at then Steve?”
The Destroyer: “Are you serious? If the Yankees want to win the World Series this year they better start playing a whole lot better than this! Shit, this is pitiful!”
Mr. Natural: “No Steve, I’m talking about the WNC! What are we looking at?”
The Destroyer: “**Mockingly** Well, we have another jam-packed Beat Down Mr. Natural!”
Mr. Natural: “Oh?”
The Destroyer: **Reading From a program as he continues to mock** “Well, it says here that there are two major things on everyone’s mind. 1. Who took out Mike Becker?”
Mr. Natural: “Who?”
The Destroyer: “Some guy who nicknames himself the “Best.”
Mr. Natural: “The Best? The best of what? The Best of the Worst!?! The guy can’t even wrestle; much less carry a conversation for two minutes. What’s he even going to say to me? **Imitating Becker** “Okay Bitch. Just Bring it Bitch, Here I am Bitch, Mike The Bitch Becker Bitches! Ok Bitch, the Bounty is on, so everyone JUST F**KING BRING IT U F**KING BITCHES!!!”
**Both men laugh out loud and garner some attention from some of the players**
Mr. Natural: “So what’s the second thing on everyone’s mind? It has to be better than the first. I mean, either that, or everyone’s just plain retarded!”
The Destroyer: “Oh yeah, it reads, “What is Compton’s Most Wanted doing here?”
Mr. Natural: “You know something Steve, that’s not a bad question. Really, what is he doing here? I mean, they need to change the guys name to “Compton’s Least Wanted!” Hey, either that, or go back to Compton, where you’re wanted.”
**Both men laugh again as Derek Jeter and The Big Unit Randy Johnson walk up the stands and heads towards them**
Derek Jeter: “Hey, you two guys aren’t supposed to be here. This is closed to the public.”
Big Unit: “Yeah, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”
**Mr. Natural and The Destroyer ignore them. The Destroyer is focused on the WNC Program**
The Destroyer: “Let me ask you guys a question. What the F*CK is a Buzzed Bunny!?!”
Big Unit: “Sir, I don’t know, but leave now, or we will get security to remove you.”
The Destroyer: “You know what I think it is?”
Big Unit: **Humoring The Destroyer** “What?”
The Destroyer: “This!”
**The Destroyer kicks Randy Johnson in the groin, causing him to double over in pain. Mr. Natural stands over Jeter, who gets nervous and throws a baseball at Mr. Natural’s face, barely missing him as Mr. Natural moves away**
Mr. Natural: **With an evil smirk** “You shouldn’t have done that.”
Derek Jeter: “SHIT!”
**Derek Jeter begins to run away, but just as he does. Mr. Natural picks up his bat and throws it at Jeter’s head. The blow knocks Jeter down and causes him to roll down the stairs**
Mr. Natural: **Describing the pain Jeter must be feeling while rolling down the stairs** “OOH! OW! OUCH! OH! AGH!!!”
**Finally Jeter stops rolling**
The Destroyer: “Damn, that had to hurt!”
Mr. Natural: “Oh well, I think we should go Steve. This is getting boring. **Looks at a camera held by Hannah Harper** WNC is in for the ride of their lives. I am Mr. Natural, and I am The MESSIAH OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!!! I personify greatness, no matter where I go! I am The F**ING MAN!!! I am a God in the midst of false Idols, a King in a room full of court Jesters and peasants! I am the best thing going today and forever. I am who I say I am! And with me is The Destroyer Steve Williams! You F*CK with him….you get your ass kicked! He is the DOCTOR OF DESTRUCTION!!! This man, like me, fears NO ONE!!! We are going to WNC and HELL….IS COMING WITH US!!!!”
**Mr. Natural picks up Destroyer’s bat**
Mr. Natural: “Oh and Big Unit…”
**Hits Randy Johnson’s wrist with the bat**
Big Unit: “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Mr. Natural: “…Try to have fun this season.”
**Both men laugh and walk away as the video fades to black and to the words written…**
Mr. Natural and The Destroyer Steve Williams….MAKING THEIR WNC DEBUT THIS SUNDAY IN THE TAG TEAM TURMOIL! May God have mercy on your souls.
(We head back to ringside and Ain’t Nothing But A G Thang continues to play.)
TM: Well, I for one can’t stand those two already!
Poacher: That doesn’t matter, TM! They’re two of the best ever!
MAKE SOME NOISE!
X-PAC!
(Lil Troy’s Wanna be a Balla plays as pyro shoots out of the stage.)
TM: X-Pac not coming alone. He’s got Mr. Trashcan with him as well.
Jillian: And the opponent, from Minneapolis, Minnesota weighing 245 pounds, X-Pac 360!
DING DING DING!
X-Pac runs in the ring and Big Smoke greets him with some stiff lefts and rights. X-Pac irish whips Big Smoke and he knocked over the ref! X-Pac goes to the outside and grabs Mr. Trash Can! He stalks Big Smoke! NO! Big Smoke just spat those drugs in his face! X-Pac is temporarily blinded! NO! Big Smoke just nailed X-Pac with Mr. Trashcan! Cover! But the ref is out! Wait a minute! Cena 54 is in the ring with a chair! MY GOD! He just nailed Big Smoke!
Poacher: Payback IS a bitch!
X-Pac coming to now. The referee is up! Cover! One! Two! Three!
DING DNG DING!
Here is your winner and the NEW WNC Cruiserweight Champion, X-Pac 360!
WAIT A MINUTE! Cena 54 just nailed X-Pac from behind! Cena 54 holds the belt above his head! Cena 54 just….WAIT A MINUTE! Now there’s Bob! Bob! Bob nailing a Headscissor Takedown sending Cena 54 to the outside! X-Pac nails Bob with an Enziguri. Big Smoke on the outside just took out Cena 54! WOW! X-PAC 360 OFF THE TURNBUCKLE WITH A FLYING CROSSBODY! Oh no! Bob is….What the hell? He was going to run but now he’s reaching under the ring….OH MY GOD! IT’S A 15 FOOT LADDER! Bob sets up the ladder near the edge of the ring and climbs to near the top! All three men on the outside are up! OH MY GOD! FLYING CROSSBODY OFF THE LADDER ONTO ALL THREE MEN ON THE OUTSIDE FROM BOB! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! MY GOD!
(Born In the Usa by Charles Kennedy hits!)
Charles: X-Pac! Don’t get too comfortable with your belt, cuz this Sunday at Wrestling Spectacle it will be a Four Man Elimination Cruiserweight Open for that title!
TM: Wow! Huge news!
(X-Pac looks on with drugs in his eyes and shakes his head as we head backstage.)